“I saw a specialist who asked me 'Are you familiar with the phrase faecal impaction?'. I said I think I saw that one with Glenn Close and Michael Douglas.”
BM
“I'll never stop working. I want to die in the saddle. A day is wasted for me if I haven't done something even mildly creative.”
Bob Monkhouse
“When I said I was going to become a comedian, they all laughed. Well, they're not laughing now, are they?”
Bob Monkhouse
“I'd like to die like my old dad, peacefully in his sleep, not screaming like his passengers.”
Bob Monkhouse
“People who hadn't noticed me, or who had written me off as a game show host, started to reassess me. There were people who hadn't seen me as a stand-up artist and liked it. Suddenly I was in fashion a...”
Bob Monkhouse
“The last time I was in Spain I got through six Jeffrey Archer novels. I must remember to take enough toilet paper next time.”
Bob Monkhouse