“[after cracking a secret code, reading it] Be sure...to...drink...your...Ovaltine. Ovaltine? A crummy commercial? Son of a bitch!”

A Christmas Story

“[as an adult, narrating] Some men are Baptists, others Catholics; my father was an Oldsmobile man.”

A Christmas Story

“Schwartz: Hey, smart ass. I asked my old man about sticking your tongue to a flagpole in the winter, and he says that it'll freeze right to the pole, just like I told ya.”

A Christmas Story

“Scut Farkus: [to Ralphie] Listen, jerk! When I tell you to come, you better come! [Ralphie starts quivering] What? Are you gonna cry now? Come on, crybaby, cry for me! Come on! CRY, HA HA!!! [begins m...”

A Christmas Story

“A Tribute to the Original, Traditional, One-Hundred-Percent, Red-Blooded, Two-Fisted, All-American Christmas...”

A Christmas Story