“[Examining the contents of the box that Darcy gave to find inspiration] "Nobody panic, this is supposed to be fun." Alright, I can do this, I'm a professional. [Reaches into the box and pulls out..] Lipstick, alright. Lipstick on a guy's collar? No, women will hate that. Lipstick on a guy's collar that won't rub off. No, that's much worse. Okay, I need to start thinking like a broad. [Closes his eyes] Alright, I'm a broad. I see lipstick...[Sniffs the lipstick] on a dark-haired Tahitian beauty standing under a waterfall, wearing nothing but a thong, and water cascading down her back- [His eyes shoot open] I'm a lesbian!”
“You talk to me like a woman, you think like a woman. Nick, come on, admit it. You're totally and completely gay!”
What Women Want
“You know what's the difference between a wife and a job? After fifteen years, a job still sucks.”
What Women Want
“[Imitating Sean Connery from The Hunt for Red October ] "Adver-sary?" Surely, you mean "adversary", old boy?”
What Women Want
“There's way too much estrogen on TV these days.”
What Women Want
“[Drunkedly singing along with the song Bitch ] I'm a bitch, I'm a mother, I'm a brother, it's confusing, as I volumize my hair, and I am not aware...”
What Women Want