“Instead of this tired concept, we need a new language of sexual experience, one which is fully inclusive, and which is able to express the full macrocosm of sex, never prioritizing or privileging one individual act over another. We need a language which leaves room for gradations of experience, always recognizing that our knowledge and understanding of sexuality is never—and will never be—fully complete. Our language of sexual experience must contain multitudes because sex contains multitudes: there is always another frontier, whether it’s new preferences, positions, or partners, or perhaps changes to your own body; sex feels different after childbirth, for example, as I’m sure it does after menopause. Becoming “sexually experienced” doesn’t begin and end with penetration, and it doesn’t happen overnight: It’s a long and gradual process, with infinite potential for new discoveries. If you’re lucky, it can last a lifetime.”
