“I was arrested for using a ten-letter word that began with ‘c,’ and I would marry no woman who was not one.”
“You can't put tits and ass on the marquee!...Why not?...Because it's dirty and vulgar, that's why not!... Titties are dirty and vulgar?...Okay, we'll compromise. How about Latin? Gluteus maximus, pect...”
Lenny Bruce
“The liberals can understand everything but people who don't understand them.”
Lenny Bruce
“I'll die young, but it's like kissing God.”
Lenny Bruce
“I want to perform an unnatural act.”
Lenny Bruce
“A Jew, in the dictionary, is one who is descended from the ancient tribes of Judea, or one who is regarded as a descendant from that tribe. That's what it says in the dictionary, but you and I know wh...”
Lenny Bruce